I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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