It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
