Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
