My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
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i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
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ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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