I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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