New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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