i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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