make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
