i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
