3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
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I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
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I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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