i already hear my dad disowning me
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
ttyl tear gas
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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