mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
