the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
