Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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