I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
