i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
