he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
