No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
