"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
