Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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