wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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