I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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