the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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