i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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