im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
