I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
