I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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