you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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