We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize
