the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
