Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So much rum. So many feels.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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