I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Randomize
