fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
