What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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