ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
