As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Ladies don't puke and tell
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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