What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
