And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
