Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize