she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
