so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
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I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
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But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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