I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
All I want is dick and wine.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm always down for nudity.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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