I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
