keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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