ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Watching her eat just hurts me
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
