She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
