so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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