i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
