Don't you send me to vm
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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