just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize