ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
