I'm going to jail i love you
It's just like the Real World with babies
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
