Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
