Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
