are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
