I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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