I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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