you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wish my penis had an off switch
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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