btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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