the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
