I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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