Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize