Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
